For the past month I’ve been a bit manic and I thought I was coping pretty well, but the last few days have been pretty rough.
For the first part of a manic episode I feel awesome! I have so much energy, I am filled with ideas and creativity, life is filled with happiness and I want to share it with everyone! After a few weeks barely sleeping, exercising and cleaning profusely and trying to complete every project under the sun, my mind starts to lose it a bit.
I just feel so confused and hazy, there is so much that I want to do but as soon as I start doing it I get overwhelmed and can’t concentrate. Even choosing what to eat for lunch is becoming too difficult of a decision. It’s incredibly frustrating and it makes me really irritable and sensitive.
I freaked out the other day because I left the nappy bag at the dance studio, I knew it wasn’t a big deal, I just had to go back in the evening and get it, but I still cried for two hours about it regardless because I felt so stupid.
There are a hundred things I should be doing right now, but as soon as I start something I think ‘I shouldn’t waste my time doing this when there is so much to do!’ so then I stand around trying to figure out what I should do instead… So I thought I’d try to just sit down, relax and write for a bit, but writing is hard because my brain just isn’t functioning. I really hope the cloudiness goes away soon…